When Friends Fight

Okay, so throughout my life I’ve gotten in fights with people. I remember in the fifth grade I got in a fight with a girl after school. About a dozen of our classmates came as witnesses, and when it was all over the girl and I actually became FRIENDS. We swapped eraserheads to seal the deal. So much for my continuing status as the Bully of my elementary school.

When I became an adult I rarely fought with people I was friends with. Sure, I’d occasionally battle with my sister in college, since we were roommates and she felt I was a filthy pig. But we were SISTERS – it was expected to have us screaming at each other over who gets to drive the car next or who left the fridge door open all afternoon during classes.

Post-college, I got into a couple squabbles with roommates – I remember one night screaming at my roommate Sally for doing something stupid (it escapes me now but BOY did I get in her face and make her cry). But since then – since about 1994, I haven’t fought with my friends.

Oh wait, Gladball and I have had a verbal tussle or two. But she’s known me so long (almost ten years) that she just laughs at me and says, “Whatever!” That’s her way of “winning” the argument because she knows it makes me so mad to hear “Whatever” that I can’t think straight and respond appropriately with my own “Whatever infinity!”

Why do friends fight? I mean, what is SO important that friends have to fight with each other when there is no need? One topic of debate could be jealousy over other friendships, although I don’t recall ever being particularly jealous of Gladball or Marebear having other friends they hang out with. Ace has too many friends to even count – I’d have no free time if I was jealous over all those people. I’ve been jealous about ACTIVITIES my friends do with other friends (“Aw, Gladball, I would have LOVED to have gone to that club you went with so-and-so!”) But to be jealous of the other friend? What a colossal waste of time.

That reminds me of the episode of Seinfeld where Elaine starts dating Keith Hernandez, and Jerry gets his pride wounded when he discovers he got “dumped” by KH for Elaine. As he spoke with Elaine about it he got progressively more upset until Elaine finally asked, “Wait a minute – are you jealous of HIM or ME?”

I don’t know where I’m going with this except to say that there is no reason for two people who are friends to fight with each other over stupid petty crap. Save it for things like 1) said friend steals boyfriend/girlfriend away or 2) said friend steals all your stuff and hocks it to get front row Barry Manilow tickets and DOESN’T INVITE YOU ALONG TO THE SHOW. Things like that – now that’s worth fighting about!

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