What Do I Miss

A thread started on my mommies forum for all the folks who moved to our town rather than grew up here. I went ahead and posted, but thought I would post here.

I have to say I don’t miss MUCH about New Jersey. But there are certain things I miss.

As much as I like my church here, I do miss my church in NJ. I don’t have the same camaraderie here as I did there. And it’s not for lack of trying – after all, I’m in the church band, participate in a small group, hang out with other couples. It’s just not the same kinship that I had in NoNJ. Maybe part of it is because our next door neighbors in NJ went to the same church, so we had that constant connection, but I can’t help but think that I was more into church in NJ than I am here – which sounds strange since I’m actually more involved time-wise down here. It’s hard to explain.

I miss our old backyard. Yes, our lot in NJ was super-tiny (.16) but most of it was a nice flat backyard. Our current house has a bigger lot (.25) but a wide, short backyard with tons of landscaping and a downward slope at the back. It’s essentially unuseable as a place for my kids to play. Sure, the old backyard always had 1,000,000 leaves on it in the fall, as well as 2,000,000 acorns that my tireless husband would rake up, but there was room to run which I wish my kids could do now. If we ever have money, I plan on getting rid of all of the landscaping and putting down fresh sod. I’d much prefer grass to garden areas that I don’t know what to do with.

A good diner. I loved where we lived in NoNJ – there were at least a dozen diners within 10 minutes drive. I think if there were true diners in the area, Denis and I would take the kids out for lunch every Sunday after church. That was always fun – calling Ace and Anthony and having them meet us at Tick Tock. Of course, Ace/Anthony have now moved out to the boonies of western Jersey, so if we still lived in NoNJ we wouldn’t be doing that as much, but I still wish NC/SC had good diners like that.

And sometimes I miss snow – like when my kids watch a program on TV that has snow and they look at it in wonder because they don’t remember experiencing snow as infants and young toddlers. But I don’t miss the mess of snow – just the idea of snow.

That’s about it – other than that I’m completely happy to be here.

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If you liked that post, read on...

The Lament on August 23rd, 2007

Catching Up on August 31st, 2009

Snowy Weather? Not So Fast! on November 19th, 2007

Decorating for Christmas is Exhausting on November 29th, 2014

3 comments

  1. Can’t say I’m completely happy here, but definitely 1 through 4 are on my list too. I agree so much about the church situation. We are in a small group, active in the church, we like the service, but I don’t feel the closeness to the people I did in NJ.

    I have to say that’s my general problem with everyone down here. Must be a northern/southern thing but I always thought that southerners were supposed to be so nice and friendly, but I think it’s just the opposite when it comes to true friendship.

    And you can’t say I haven’t give them enough time any more. We’ve been here more than a year and a half and I’ve talked to one neighbor beside us a half dozen times. Said hi to the other one three times, and never spoken to anyone else on the block besides our neighbors behind us, and you couldn’t say that about our street in NJ.

    So, I would say, I do miss NJ/NYC and everything that goes along with it, but I’m not telling you anything new.

  2. Denis – hopefully we’ll continue to cultivate a friendship with the folks behind us, and hopefully a nice family with young kids will move in across from us.

  3. Maybe it’s because a lot of the people are transplants rather than people who actually grew up in the South. True southerners have hospitality in their blood. Another factor, which is true of our society in general, is that everyone is so darn busy, they don’t make time to build relationships. Also, I think you experienced in NJ what we experienced at CBC; you were part of newly planted church where everyone knew each other, cared for each other and lived life together. By the time you joined FH, some of the relationships were already tight which has made it hard for you to break through. If I hadn’t taken the initiative during our 4 1/2 yrs. at FCC, we would not know that many people. Likewise, with 16 yrs. in our neighborhood, the friendships we have are because I initiated them by taking goodies when someone moved in, joining a Bible study here, inviting others to join in, inviting them to church, or gathering groups together for tea on a regular basis. Lastly, having a home-based business has helped a lot in staying connected to dozens and dozens of women. So, I guess the word is, “initiate!”

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