The Nose Knows

Okay, so one of the things I hate about the human body is the nose (feet being the other thing I hate about the human body). In particular, I hate to hear or be near people that are blowing their noses. I’m very compulsive about it and run screaming like a little girl when someone grabs a tissue to blow.

But the worst – and I do mean the worst – that a person can do is blow their nose anywhere near the proximity of a kitchen. That’s just the foulest beyond foul.

So wouldn’t you know a moment ago I’m in the kitchen here at my office putting my oatmeal bowl in the dishwasher and one of the guys comes in, grabs a paper towel and blows his nose not two feet away from me. I almost threw up right then and there.

It really ought to be a law: NEVER BLOW YOUR NOSE IN THE KITCHEN.

I’m serious. Stop laughing.

My Signature


  1. And don’t cough on my produce. Especially not if you are tubercular and you’ve just made a trip to Dairy Kingdom. And if you clear your throat juicily and swallow, I’ll introduce your colon to my zucchini, and that is not a euphemism for anything. That is a threat.

    Ahh. I feel better. Hey, where are you going?

  2. ROTFL

    See, I intentionally blow my nose in the kitchen to torture you…your co-worker inadvertently tortured you. He should get one free pass.

    I think you’re nuts!

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