It was a bad weekend for vampire movies. This weekend I watched “Underworld” and “Van Helsing” and both were disappointing.
“Underworld” was just a mess. It’s supposed to be the werewolf/vampire version of “Romeo & Juliet”, but frankly – the two leads (Kate Beckinsale and Scott Speedman) had no chemistry whatsoever and frankly, I couldn’t have cared less about their doomed love. Don’t waste your time.
“Van Helsing” was one I looked forward to, since it stars my fake boyfriend Hugh Jackman. But not even him ripping off his shirt at one point could make this movie more than mediocre. Sure, the special effects were great (especially the final battle between Van Helsing and Dracula), but once again I felt no chemistry between the leads (poor Jackman with Kate Beckinsale AGAIN – methinks she’s a disaster for movies). The script just should have been BETTER. I’m grateful, though, that we weren’t inundated with pithy remarks after each kill, a la Terminator movies and the like (i.e. a guy drowns in his shower, and the lead says something stupid like “He’s all washed up.” Ugh – I hate those. The Mummy 2 had about 1000 of those that we were forced to endure).
Someone out there, please make a decent vampire movie. Because these two sucked.
They each get 1.5 stars out of five.
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