My Pregnancy

This is the diary of my pregnancy with my first child, Cootiegirl, in 2002-03. I did not keep a diary like this with my second child, Cootieboy. I’ve kept it here in case any soon-to-be moms want to read the diary of an entire 9-month journey toward motherhood. Enjoy!

Week Four / Week Five / Week Six / Week Seven / Week Eight / Week Nine / Week Ten / Week Eleven / Week Twelve / Week Thirteen / Week Fourteen / Week Fifteen / Week Sixteen / Week Seventeen / Week Eighteen / Week Nineteen / Month Five / Month Six / Month Seven / Month Eight / Month Nine / The Birth Story

Week Four | Back to Top

Tuesday, August 20, 2002
Jaynee Says: Taking the Test
I took the test the same night that Denis and I finished removing the wallpaper from our bedroom. I had bought the test earlier that evening because I thought I might be pregnant. Then while Denis was vacuuming up the bits of paper from our bedroom floor, I went downstairs and peed on the stick. Within 30 seconds two lovely lines showed up in the window. It was official – I was pregnant. It was exciting because it was the FIRST month of actively trying to get pregnant. FIRST MONTH! Denis didn’t believe the test could be accurate, and doubted it’s veracity. At this point I was already planning the baby’s room, I think. According to the calendars I looked at online, if I’m truly pregnant the due date is the same date as DENIS’ BIRTHDAY. Talk about an amazing present!

Wednesday, August 21, 2002
Jaynee Says: Making an Appointment
I called the doctor’s office today and made an appointment – it’s scheduled for September 16th – which is almost four weeks away. I’ve spent most of the day reading up on miscarriages so that I can be prepared in case I have one. Apparently women in their 30s have a higher chance of having a miscarriage than their younger counterparts. So, I want to be prepared in case that happens to me – I have a 1 in 5 chance of it happening. My parents come to town this weekend for a visit and I’m already contemplating whether to tell them or not – it’s their first grandchild after all. I’ll have to talk to Denis about that tonight. I’m kind of thinking that I’ll test my willpower and NOT tell them until my mom’s birthday in October, at which point her gift will be lots of “grandma” stuff. Knowing me though, she’ll know by Friday night of this week.

Denis Says: Don’t Tell
I’m going to do my best to stop Jaynee from telling her family. Of course, if she tells her’s, I have to tell mine. I think we should wait until the pre-baby is two or three months old. October would be a perfect time. In the meantime, Jaynee is going to get cracking on weightwatchers.

Jaynee Says: Not Quite
Actually, everything I’ve read today says WW is out of the window until after the birth of The Kid and that (based on my current weight) I should aim to gain only 2 pounds a month throughout the pregnancy. So there you have it.

Thursday, August 22, 2002
Jaynee Says: Cramps Suck
I’ve been having cramps the past four days. Everything I’ve read online say it’s normal and will stop at some point – but I can barely tolerate cramps when I’m pmsed, which only lasts a day for me. As of this morning, though, my breastular area is officially in pain. They said it would be bad – and they were right.

I just wish I didn’t have to wait four weeks before the doctor’s appointment. Researching online seems so detached. The good news, though, is that they might be able to do an ultrasound at that point to hear the heartbeat – which could be cool.

What’s also cool is that one of my co-workers is also pregnant – she’s further along than me (about three months). It will be wonderful to have another person in the office to commiserate and laugh with. And since she’s a couple months ahead of me she can warn me of impending experiences. It’s her first child as well, so we’ll both be learning as we go.

Jaynee Says: Fears
I thought I would write down some of my fears so that I can acknowledge them and let them go. A bit new-agey, I know, but I think it’ll help. My job is so quiet right now because all my bankers are on vacation so all I do all day is sit at my desk and come up with all these scenarios that end poorly. So here goes.

  • I fear that I’ll have a miscarriage right after we tell everyone I’m pregnant.
  • I fear I am still overweight and this will affect the baby or me – whether it’s gestational diabetes or too much weight gain or high blood pressure.
  • I fear that because I’m 33 there’s a higher chance that my baby will have problems.
  • I fear morning sickness and all it’s technicolor glory.
  • I feel each cramp and fear that I’m miscarrying.
  • I fear that once we tell the family they’ll all start being concerned about my weight and will tell me things I already know.
  • I fear about finances – can we really do this?
  • I fear about our animals – will they be able to handle having a baby in the house or will we have to give them away?
  • I fear being hormonally emotional to Denis and driving him crazy.
  • For the first time since September 11, I feel fear about where I live now that
  • I will have someone else to take care of.
  • I fear that my child will grow up to hate me despite my attempts to love him/her unconditionally.
  • I fear the labor itself – the pain, the complications that can occur, and the bills that follow afterwards.

    *sigh* It’s just too much to handle. I know I’ll get through these fears, but listing them all like that makes it really real that I’m pregnant. I don’t need some sonagram to tell me otherwise. I’m gonna be a mom. Denis is going to be a wonderful dad. We’re gonna be a family.

    Friday, August 23, 2002
    Jaynee Says: What Classifies as “Too Much”?
    Last night Denis and I painted over the lime green paint in our bedroom. As we were finishing up and putting the furniture back in place I thought, “What kinds of activities should I not be doing in this early stage of pregnancy?” I mean, a couple weeks ago I basically decarpeted our living room all by myself – and I was pregnant (albeit only a week along). This past week I’ve been stripping wallpaper and painting – will the fumes harm the baby? Will the chemicals I’m washing off my hands soak through and somehow affect the baby? Either way, from now on no more heavy lifting – at least not until the doctor says, “You’re fine – go for it, but don’t exert yourself too much.” But what if his definition of “too much” differs from mine? Either way, after we were done I said to Denis, “I hope I’m still pregnant after all this work!” Then I rushed into the bathroom and took another pregnancy test just to make sure – and breathed a huge sigh of relief when two lines showed up within 30 seconds again.

    Sunday, August 25, 2002
    Jaynee Says: Parents Have Been Told
    I knew I wouldn’t last the weekend. My parents gave me so many opportunities to tell them I was pregnant that by Saturday night I was busting. I was also quite nauseated from potential morning sickness. At some point I told Denis, “I have to tell them because I don’t know how to explain my yakking my guts out.” So that night another opportunity came up and I told them I was pregnant. They were quite happy to hear the news, and for the rest of the night we talked in general about impending parenthood and pregnancy. Today after they left we drove over to Queens to see Denis’ mom and after a few opporunities to bring it up came and went, Denis finally broke out the news to his mom and brother. They were thrilled too. Next week I’ll tell my sister, and then once we tell the rest of our families we’ll post it officially on Cootiehog the day of my first doctor’s appointment.

    I just hope I’m not jinxing myself into a miscarriage by telling people early. I would think that morning sickness is a good sign though. My mom said she was sick only two weeks with my sister and one week with me – I hope I take after her in that regard! That would be great! Today we were having lunch and I quit after only a few bits because I started to feel queasy. That sucked because it was really good!

    Week Five | Back to Top

    Tuesday, August 27, 2002
    Jaynee Says: 38 Days
    Hard to believe that after tonight I will have known for a week that I’m pregnant. Today is 38 days pregnant. And I’m rather proud of myself for not shouting the news from the mountaintops. So far only our parents and a few of my friends know. I have had very little symptoms in the past couple days – some mild nausea, lack of appetite (in fact I lost a pound last week), and general fatigue – but not anything harsh. Hope it continues like this.

    Jaynee Says: Spoke Too Soon
    I just started cramping a lot in the past half an hour. It’s the same sharp cramps I had last week that made me decide to take the pregnancy test in the first place. I later found out that is supposedly the uterus growing to prepare to house a huge kid. I hope that these cramps are a continuation of that growth instead of an indication of something else.

    Wednesday, August 28, 2002
    Jaynee Says: They Are Gone
    The cramps from yesterday are gone. I was really worried there for a while. But by last night they had stopped and I never had any spotting, so all is well, I believe. I just wish my doctor’s appointment would hurry up and arrive. Two and a half more weeks to go. I’ll feel a lot better once a doctor looks me over and confirms everything is running along schedule.

    Today at lunch one of the guys in my office guessed that my co-worker was pregnant. She had come into the kitchen to get a drink and after she left he quietly asked Mare-Bear and I if she was pregnant. I laughed – Keith isn’t dumb and is very detail-oriented. Mare-Bear asked why he thought she was pregnant, and his answer was, “Her hair has changed texture, which is just one sign, and she looks like she’s gained a small amount of weight in her waist.” I laughed again. This guy is good. Makes me wonder when he’ll notice I’m pregnant.

    Friday, August 30, 2002
    Jaynee Says: Slight Doubt
    This morning I started to doubt I was pregnant. I had such vivid dreams last night about being pregnant at full term, going into labor and giving birth to a darling baby girl. They were VIVID. Then I woke up this morning and thought, “What if I’m not pregnant?” So on the way to my office this morning I bought another pregnancy test and took it as soon as I got here. Like the first time, within 30 seconds it came up positive. I’m so relieved. Even though I’m only 5w4d (5 weeks and 4 days) along I would have been devastated.

    Week Six | Back to Top

    Tuesday, September 3, 2002
    Jaynee Says: Another Day, Another Week
    So we told my sister this weekend about my pregnancy. She literally screamed with happiness at the thought of being an aunt. She’s been waiting so long for me to get pregnant, and it’s finally happened.

    I have two weeks until my doctor’s appointment. I spent all day watching The Learning Channel, which featured an entire day of “A Baby Story” and “Maternity Ward”. I like “ABS” much better – that show tells happier stories. “MW” was depressing – filled with high-risk pregnancies and deliveries. But it was also educational, which is helpful for me.

    I had little nausea this weekend – just a mild bad feeling after my meals, but still no physical being sick. So far so good. I was exhausted after this long weekend though – after my sister went home I took a nice long nap on the sofa. It was heavenly.

    Wednesday, September 4, 2002
    Jaynee Says: Mild Spotting – Still Scary
    So I’ve been reading lots of websites and baby blogs, so I knew eventually I was going to have spotting due to my uterus expanding, but it’s still scary to see blood, no matter how dark and “old” it is. I had a lot of cramping last week, and I guess this spotting is the result of it. But it still alarmed me – even though I knew it was okay.

    My nausea has been more pronounced since last night. After I had dinner I felt really nauseated but still never got sick. This morning on the bus into work I felt nauseated (nauseous?) again, but it went away once we pulled into Port Authority. I live in constant fear that I’m going to throw up on the bus and totally stink it up for the other passengers. *lol*

    Thursday, September 5, 2002
    Jaynee Says: Nausea on the Rise
    My nausea each day is slowly building – if I don’t blow today, it’ll definitely be by the end of the weekend. Not happy about that. There’s nothing worse than the physical act of vomiting. I hate it.

    Last night the Discovery Health Channel aired Pregnancy for Dummies, a three part series based on the Dummies book line. It was pretty interesting even if I didn’t watch it entirely (I was flipping between “Big Brother” and the finale of “American Idol” at the same time). I ended up taping the repeat of it that aired in the middle of last night. I’ll probably sit down this weekend and watch the whole thing.

    Friday, September 6, 2002
    Jaynee Says: Ugh
    Must. not. throw up. at desk.

    Week Seven | Back to Top

    Tuesday, September 10, 2002
    Jaynee Says: The Family Knows
    So as of today most of my family knows about The Kid. I called both of my grandparents yesterday (they were thrilled – it’s the first great-grandchild for each of them). Then today I emailed my aunts and uncle to give them the good news. Denis’ immediate family all knows, as well. So there you have it. Most of my close friends know – I’m a big blabbermouth when I’m excited about something. But there are a remaining few friends that haven’t been told – they’ll get the email next Monday afternoon after the doctor’s appointment.

    As for symptoms, I’ve not had many other than mild cramps and the continued non-event nausea. *yawn* Oh, and fatigue.

    Wednesday, September 11, 2002
    Jaynee Says: True Morning Sickness Has Arrived
    True morning sickness arrived yesterday afternoon and came to fruition on my commute home. Yes, on a public bus I actually had a dry heave, and BARELY got off the bus at the next stop before hurling into the bushes on the side of the highway. Nice. I boarded a bus that came along about 20 minutes later and headed home – and upon arriving home got sick again. Today I’m going to get that seasickness band for my wrist – I’ve heard it works and hope it does.

    In the meantime I have a box of Nilla Wafers at my desk which have worked wonders this morning. So YAY for those!

    Thursday, September 12, 2002
    Jaynee Says: Wristbands Rock
    Let me just tell you these wristbands are awesome. I put them on last night before I left work and for the rest of the night I had no nausea whatsoever. It was great! I had mild nausea this morning when I woke up, but I know that’s because I hadn’t eaten since a snack at 9 p.m. last night. Now that I’ve had some breakfast I feel fine. I know I usually have a lot of nausea during the day, but with these bands on I have a feeling I’m going to be fine. Best $4 I ever spent!

    Friday, September 13, 2002
    Jaynee Says: PB&J
    Well, those pesky kids on “Big Brother” may not like it, but this morning upon waking up and letting Cooper out for a run in the backyard, I made myself a peanut butter & jelly sandwich. I had read on one of the boards I visit that one woman has one every morning upon waking up, whether she goes back to sleep or not. So I made my sandwich, let Cooper back inside, and promptly went back to bed and ate my sandwich in bed while watching the news. I’m sure Denis thought I was nuts. But I’ll tell you – I didn’t have one BIT of morning sickness this morning upon getting up to get ready for work. So PB&J in the morning may become a habit til morning sickness is gone.

    Week Eight | Back to Top

    Tuesday, September 17, 2002
    Jaynee Says: The Appointment
    The first doctor’s appointment was yesterday. It went quite well, and I really liked the doctor we met with. He did a sonogram – we got to see the tiny heartbeat going mad. He confirmed the due date is the day before Denis’ birthday, April 26. So I was a day off in my own calculations.

    He also answered a lot of my questions. I can stay on Weight Watchers, which is great. He said that if I want to lose twenty pounds, then I should aim to gain only 5 pounds during the pregnancy. Well, I’ve already done that, so I’ll aim to lose 15 pounds, and give myself another 5 pounds to gain.

    He gave me two prescriptions – one for the prenatal vitamins (which are chewable and not too bad), and the other for my nausea. The nausea pill worked great yesterday, but this morning Denis’ cologne bothered me again, so I just have to realize that mornings are going to be rough whether I like it or not.

    The doctor had difficulty taking blood for tests, so I ended up having to go to the lab after my appointment to have them take blood directly – and even that guy had a tough time. Seems my veins are playing hide and seek because of the pregnancy.

    So the announcement about the pregnancy is now up at Cootiehog. I’ll wait a couple days before I make the journal go live as well.

    Thursday, September 19, 2002
    Jaynee Says: Moms Know Everything
    Well, since the announcement went live that I’m pregnant, it’s been funny to get advice from all my friends that have kids already. “Chew gum, it works to stave off nausea!” one swore. “Whatever you do, don’t chew gum,” another swore, “it gives you gas like you wouldn’t believe!” It’s unbelieveable how much advice one gets. But perhaps the best piece of advice I got was from a pregnancy bulletin board: “Don’t let anyone tell you what to do/use/smell/drink/eat – each woman is different and will have different experiences – there is no “norm”.” I like that woman.

    My fatigue has worsened due to the nausea medication – it hit me really hard yesterday around 2 p.m. – I could barely stay awake at my desk. I went to bed at 10 p.m. last night and was STILL tired upon waking up. No one told me that pregnancy makes you almost non-functional in the first trimester. But I’m wiped out.

    Week Nine | Back to Top

    Wednesday, September 25, 2002
    Jaynee Says: No More Kidney Bean
    According to yesterday’s Baby Center pregnancy diary: “In both shape and size, your baby resembles a medium-sized shrimp and weighs about a third of an ounce.” So I guess we can’t call The Kid a kidney bean anymore.

    Friday, September 27, 2002
    Jaynee Says: Start Spreading The News
    I told my office today that I’m pregnant – they seem largely excited that I’m pregnant – but I hope they don’t think I asked for a raise because of The Kid, because that’s not the case. Either way, they refused the raise anyway, but it would have been a nice perk to help our savings. But a couple people have already asked if I plan on continuing to work after I have The Kid. I’ll be keeping that close the vest, thank you very much. No need to place my bet when I haven’t even looked at the cards yet.

    Jaynee Says: Spotting – That Worries Me
    I came home from work today and upon going to the bathroom discovered some bright red blood mixed in with my urine. I had a minute of panic – this wasn’t the dark brown blood that signifies old blood from the uterus growing. This was bright red – fresh blood. I quickly prayed for peace and calm, and God answered that prayer. I came upstairs and went online to Baby Center Bulletin Boards and found a lot of women that had fresh blood spotting throughout their pregnancies and that as long as it doesn’t include cramping, chances are the baby is okay. I also read that most doctors feel that if they see the heartbeat at the first ultrasound (as we did) then chances of miscarriage are rare. But this weekend I’m going to take it easy, just in case. No hard work for me (sorry, Denis). The heaviest thing I’m going to lift is the TV remote.

    Week Ten | Back to Top

    Monday, September 30, 2002
    Jaynee Says: Love That Medication
    This weekend I tried to go without the nausea medication so that I could know if my nausea is going away. It’s not. At Petco this weekend I almost gagged in the dog treats aisle (Cooper, who was with me, would have LOVED that). So when I got home I took a pill and felt a lot better. Sunday I went the whole day without a pill but was pretty miserable by 8 p.m. So, I’ll kindly stick with the medication for at least a couple more weeks before trying that again.

    As for the spotting I had on Friday – I didn’t have any more spotting over the weekend, so it was nothing to worry about. Phew!

    Week Eleven | Back to Top

    Monday, October 7, 2002
    Jaynee Says: I Bought An Outfit
    This weekend Denis and I went with a couple friends to Woodbury Commons, a large outlet mall in New York. I ended up buying my first maternity outfit even though I won’t need it for a few more months yet. I’m in Week 11 and am still not showing AT ALL (it’s hard to see under the layer of fat). So I’ll probably wear it when I go to Virginia for the Christmas holidays. We also splurged and bought a couple baby outfits. The one Denis picked out is an adorable terry robe with slippers. It’s bright yellow and has ducks on it and is too cute. I picked out yellow fleece overalls with a yellow, orange and green striped shirt. We specifically got things for an older infant so that we have something past the newborn stage.

    The nausea has dissipated a bit – I didn’t take any pills yesterday and went nausea free (I was wearing the bands though). My next appointment is in just over a week. Looking forward to seeing changes in the ultrasound!

    Week Twelve | Back to Top

    Monday, October 14, 2002
    Jaynee Says: Crossed the Hump
    Well, this weekend I crossed over into Week 12 and supposedly I’m going to start feeling more energy and less morning sickness now that I’m officially in the second trimester. Yesterday I took no pills and only had a couple gag moments – that’s a bonus and I’m thrilled. However, upon arriving to work this morning I promptly gagged at my desk – so there’s definitely something here at work that’s making me nauseous. Smells still bother me, but hopefully that’ll dissipate soon.

    In other news, my dream life has gotten really wacky lately. I have celebrity dreams almost every night now, and they are incredibly vivid, but upon waking up I can only remember images as opposed to plotlines. Two images I remember from this past week: Brad Garrett (“Robert” on Everybody Loves Raymond) on a canoe merry-go-round ride in my house; sharing the morning bathroom time with Michael Vartan (“Vaughn” on Alias (that dream featured the whole cast from Alias, but that’s the image I’m left with – me brushing my teeth while he was shaving that cute face).

    Today Cathleen, the woman in my office who is also preggers, had her latest appointment and brought in the ultrasound. That’s a fully-formed kid in there! Very cute. They have decided not to find out the sex of the baby, which I could never do.

    Tuesday, October 15, 2002
    Jaynee Says: A Bit Cocky Too Soon
    Well, didn’t I just get all full of myself yesterday about my morning sickness? Well, I was taught a violent lesson last night on my way home from work – I barely got to the Port Authority bathroom before I hurled BIG TIME. I felt so bad for the women in there having to hear me throw up at least five times. I HATE THROWING UP. It was my own fault – I got cocky and didn’t take a nausea pill yesterday afternoon. Well, that’s something I won’t do again. But today I feel incredibly lousy as though I may be getting sick. I’m hoping it’s just the nausea, and not a real virus. But either way, I feel awful today.

    Wednesday, October 16, 2002
    Jaynee Says: Latest Picture!
    Here is the latest picture of the baby, taken at this morning’s appointment. At some point while the doctor was zooming in, the baby kind of kicked out – very cute. I have to go back in four weeks for the AFP test – I’ve heard that the test can come back with false positives, but he said, “That’s true, but it never comes back with false negatives – so let’s cross that bridge when we get to it.”

    Week Thirteen | Back to Top

    Monday, October 21, 2002
    Jaynee Says: Baby Dreams
    Last night I dreamt that I gave birth to an adorably chubby baby girl and that her first word was “bologna”. Apparently in our desire to not curse in front of our newly born daughter we used the word instead of something else, and she caught on and began saying it. Pretty funny.

    A not so funny development in the dream was that I went back to work a scant ten minutes after giving birth….

    Thursday, October 24, 2002
    Jaynee Says: Waiting Pays Off
    You know the best part about waiting so long to have kids while all those around me pop ’em out? I get all the leftovers. Nowadays it’s too freakin’ expensive to invest in stuff that’s only going to be used for a handful of months by an ever-growing infant. But fortunately, I have friends that recently have kids and have volunteered to give us their stuff. Our friends Tara and Rob had baby Grace, so the girl stuff is covered. And my co-worker Tim just called and said, “I’ve been meaning to tell you, if you have a boy, let me know cuz we have TONS of boy stuff.”

    We’ve also decided not to buy a crib until The Kid is about six months old. Then we’ll just put it on the Christmas list and see if we get lucky. *wink* But for now it seems as though all the parents I know are more than willing to hand over their stuff – I don’t know if it’s their generosity or their wish to create more closet space. But either way it works for me!

    Friday, October 25, 2002
    Jaynee Says: Another Dream
    I had another dream last night that we were having a girl – that makes three dreams predicting a girl, no dreams predicting a boy. So I officially believe we’re having a girl and can’t wait for the next appointment, when we should find out the gender of The Kid.

    In other news, I think the nausea is finally disappearing. This morning I woke up rarin’ to go and have felt great all morning (it’s now 11:01 a.m.). The afternoons are usually rough for me (2 p.m. – 6 p.m.), so I’ll be curious to see how I feel this afternoon. But I think I’m finally getting out of the miserable stage and into the “honeymoon phase” women keep promising me will arrive soon.

    Jaynee Says: The Small “To Buy” List
    My co-worker Cathleen and I were talking about how lots of couples waste their money on products they don’t need because they are pressured in stores. Neither of us has set foot in a baby megastore yet (although I’ve gone into baby clothing stores, which is different). So we came up with a the list of the “must haves”, figuring the rest of the stuff is for those fancy folks who like wasting money. I’ve added the must haves in the column on the right and will periodically look at this list when someone tries to tell me that a baby wipe warmer or a baby bottle sterilizer is a “must have”.

    She and I have also both made the decision to not set up a specific child’s nursery (meaning, devote an entire room to baby stuff). She will be in a two bedroom apartment and needs to keep the room as a guest room, so it’ll be more a guest room with a crib in it than a devoted nursery. As for us, we technically have the space available to make the third bedroom a devoted nursery, but I don’t want to. So, the birdhouse theme stays if we have a girl. We’ll add a few childish touches, of course – some stuffed animals, some Winnie the Pooh stuff, but overall the room will remain the same. If we have a boy, I’ll go ahead and change the curtains to a solid fabric rather than a pattern and flip over the comforter so it’s not so focused on birdhouses, but the room will essentially stay the same. Once The Kid is a toddler, we’ll turn the room into his/her room, and take out the birdhouse themed things. But I put too much work into redoing that room last year to change it for an infant – no matter how adorable the infant.

    Week Fourteen | Back to Top

    Tuesday, October 29, 2002
    Jaynee Says: One Step Forward, Two Steps Back
    Just when I think I’m in the home stretch on the nausea, it teaches me a lesson. Last night as I was loading the dishwasher I was overcome by nausea and got sick. I felt great all weekend long – only took one pill the whole weekend – and yet Monday after work I’m sick as a dog. I think it’s work-related. Seriously. Work = Sickening Nausea.

    Week Fifteen | Back to Top

    Thursday, November 7, 2002
    Jaynee Says: One Step Forward, Two Steps Back, Part Deux
    So yeah, you know my last entry? Let me just repeat that: Just when I think I’m in the home stretch on the nausea, it teaches me a lesson. Yesterday I felt great all day – didn’t take a pill in the afternoon and felt like gangbusters. So I meet Denis for the commute home and I’m fine on the bus until we get to our stop – at which point I need to get off the bus because I’m about to dry heave. One dry heave later it was all out technicolor in the back of the park and ride. The only benefit: Denis actually witnessed it, so he can’t say I’m lying anymore. Not that he ever actually said that I’ve been exaggerating about my nausea, but I could see it in his eyes. *lol* So I got home, took my pill like a good little girl, and was fine the rest of the night.

    My next appointment is this coming Monday – they’ll do the AFP blood test to test for spina bifida and down’s syndrome. I’ve heard the test has a lot of false positive results, so I’m not too worried about it if it comes back positive. I’m also hoping to find out the gender of The Kid so that I can just start calling him/her by his/her name. Although my mother in law supposedly doesn’t want to know the gender – but that’s so NOT going to happen.

    Week Sixteen | Back to Top

    Monday, November 11, 2002
    Jaynee Says: Doctor’s Appointment
    Today’s appointment went well. I met one of the six doctor’s in the practice and I really liked her – I’m secretly hoping that she’ll end up being in the delivery room come next April. She was really friendly and seemed as though she would have a very soothing birth room personality. They used a doppler and we heard the heartbeat (146 bpm) and she gave me the prescription to go get a full ultrasound in a couple weeks. So at that point we’ll find out the gender of The Kid.

    I also had blood taken for the AFP triple-screen test. I’ll get the results by Friday, perhaps even before then.

    Friday, November 15, 2002
    Jaynee Says: AFP Results
    I got the results back last night on my AFP triple-screen – all negative! I’m very happy to hear that and am glad that’s out of the way. To be honest, I hadn’t thought about the test all week and when I heard the beginning of the message I thought she was calling to confirm my next appointment! Then when she said she had the results of the blood test, it was only then I realized why she was calling.

    Week Seventeen | Back to Top

    Monday, November 18, 2002
    Jaynee Says: Sometimes It Just Hits Me
    Sometimes, on days like today, it just hits me hard: I’m having a baby. Me, Jaynee S. I’m technically in Week 17, but I just read this from BabyCenter about Week 18: “Your baby is approximately 8 inches long. Her chest moves up and down to mimic breathing, but she’s not taking in air, only amniotic fluid. A midpregnancy ultrasound is often done sometime in the second trimester (usually between 18 and 22 weeks) to assess fetal growth and development, screen for certain birth defects, check the placenta and umbilical cord, and determine whether the gestational age is accurate. During this exam, you might see your baby kick, flex, reach, roll, or even suck its thumb. Bring your partner along, and whether or not he’s able to accompany you, make sure to ask for printouts of the baby in various poses.” That’s pretty amazing, if you ask me, and I can’t wait for next Friday to see all of that.

    Week Eighteen | Back to Top

    Sunday, December 1, 2002
    Jaynee Says: The Full Ultrasound
    Our big ultrasound was on Friday morning, and it went really well. Before leaving the house I drank the required 32 fl. oz. of water. Once there, the doctor settled me on the table and began going over my belly with the scanner, spending a long time inspecting the various body parts of The Kid. We talked a bit during the process, and she was quite amused by The Kid. She said, “Have you felt any movement yet?” I said no, and she laughed and said, “You mean, you honestly can’t feel that?” Feel what, I asked. “Your baby is using your full bladder as a trampoline – bouncing up and down on it.” I didn’t feel a thing. She said she was having problems seeing things because The Kid kept moving around, making it hard to do her analysis. She laughed again, muttering, “I just can’t believe you can’t feel all that movement.” When she was done with that part, she brought in Denis and we spent the next ten minutes trying to determine whether it was a girl or a boy. Alas, it was not meant to be. The Kid had his/her legs tight together, and wasn’t budging. At one point the doctor got a good angle, and said, “Well, I don’t see anything dangling, but I can’t say for sure it’s a girl based on that.” She looked for a couple more minutes and then just gave up when The Kid kept moving away from the scanner.

    Sounds like I either have a fetus with ADD or a future gymnast.

    In other news, the nausea is almost all gone. Except for a bout the morning of the full ultrasound, I’ve not vomited in a long time. I haven’t taken the meds in over a week save for a couple of times when I felt I needed it. But I feel infinitely better these days.

    Week Nineteen | Back to Top

    Monday, December 9, 2002
    Jaynee Says: Almost Halfway There!
    It’s exciting to think that I’m a few days shy of being halfway through the pregnancy. Everyone was really sweet at the party we hosted on Saturday – claiming I looked cute and all. Pity that once the pictures were uploaded I looked fat.

    Month Five | Back to Top

    Monday, December 11, 2002
    Jaynee Says: Halfway There Today!
    Well, apparently I’m officially halfway there as of today (20w1d). Woo hoo! In honor of officially being in my fifth month, I will from now on have monthly sections instead of weekly.

    The nausea is entirely gone unless someone tells a gross story or someone eats a boiled tarantula on “Survivor Thailand”.

    Last night I had a dream that I was able to pre-register to have my baby and get my NJ driver’s license at the same location. Would that it were that easy!

    Monday, December 30, 2002
    Jaynee Says: Extra, Extra – Read All About It!
    Today I had my latest checkup – blood pressure and heartrate is fine. The best news of all though, came when the doctor kindly did another ultrasound and confirmed that we are having a little girl. As soon as she turned on the machine it only took a few minutes and I could tell that it was obviously a girl. There was a lot of movement, however, so it took the doctor a while to get a really got shot. But sure enough – plain as day – we’re having a little girl. YAY! We knew it all along, but it’s nice to know for sure now.

    Monday, January 6, 2003
    Jaynee Says: 110 Days
    So as of today I have 110 days left until The Kid arrives. This Wednesday I enter Month Six. Yowsah.

    In other news, whereas I went four weeks without gaining a pound, suddenly this past week I gained just over four pounds. How is that possible? I was shocked when I looked at the number on the scale this morning.

    Had a mild scare this weekend when The Kid stopped moving around on Saturday. For the past two weeks it’s been a constant mini-gym inside my body, and on Saturday she decided to take a breather and do NOTHING for 12 hours. I was more than a little nervous and debated calling my doctor. But I held out, and sure enough last night she was back to her old tricks. I was quite relieved…

    Month Six | Back to Top

    Thursday, January 9, 2003
    Jaynee Says: Three and a Half Months Left!
    Yesterday I hit the six-month mark. Quite an achievement! In other news, I’ve ballooned in the past two weeks, gaining five pounds in 14 days. Completely depressing.

    But in happy news, last night Denis finally felt the baby moving around. CootieGirl was on the move after we went to bed, and I quickly moved Denis’ hand to my belly so he could feel her kick – he felt her kick about three times in 20 seconds. YAY!

    I received my latest round of maternity clothes in the mail yesterday. I got a few shirts and a couple more pairs of pants. For the past two days at work I had been wearing my fat pants from last year and they were a little tight, so I’m happy to have more than three pairs of mat. pants now. The mat. shirts are a bit big, but they’ll be GREAT when I’m near the end of my pregnancy in April.

    Lastly, our former Queens neighbors Rob and Tara are being WAY too generous with the baby stuff they no longer need since Grace is about 6 months old. They have offered (and we have taken) their bassinet, small diapers Grace grew out of, and now they are offering us the bouncy seat that they got for Grace that she never used. I read reviews of the seat she got and it looks fabulous, so I’m taking her up (once again) on her offer. I’m SO going to write her a check next time I see her.

    Thursday, January 23, 2003
    Jaynee Says: More Stuff
    I’m in my 26th week now – my glucose test is first thing Monday morning. I need to make sure I stay away from sugars as much as possible over the weekend. I do NOT want to fail that test!

    Tara emailed me today and volunteered to give us the swing they have for Gracie. Apparently she doesn’t use it much, so it’s wasting space in their apartment. So, I told her that would be great, and yet ANOTHER item is removed from the baby registry!

    This weekend we’re hoping to set up The Kid’s closet organizer so that we can really use that closet effectively.

    Baby movement has become very regular – I feel CootieGirl moving around almost all the time now. Denis still has trouble – she’s a real tease and seems to know when it’s his hand on my belly as opposed to mine. She stops moving the minute Denis puts his hand on my belly to feel her. I pray she’s not a tease when she gets older. *lol*

    Monday, January 27, 2003
    Jaynee Says: Glucose Test Today
    I took my glucose test this morning. That orange drink was foul, mainly because it was still carbonated, which I can’t stand. And it was so syrupy and sweet – that’s why I hate sodas. But I drank it down at 6 a.m. and had my blood tested at 7 a.m. Fortunately, the test came back NEGATIVE! Yay! No gestational diabetes in this mom-to-be! The doc also informed me that from here on out I’m on the every-two-week appointment plan. So I’ll be heading back in a couple weeks and will meet with the one doctor I’ve not met yet.

    We moved around the furniture in The Kid’s room to figure out where we’d put the crib. We have decided to put it on the wall just inside the doorway for quick access and better sound (her door is catecorner (sp?) to ours). We still have to put in her closet organizer, do the stencil on the wall, and hang all the Winnie the Pooh stuff we have laying around.

    Friday, January 31, 2003
    Jaynee Says: An Early Gift
    In last night’s mail we got an expected surprise – Denis’ mom sent us a check to cover the crib that we’ve selected for the nursery. Since we know there’s no way the box will fit in our car, we ordered it online today and will hopefully receive it sometime next week. We’re happy to get that one large item out of the way – because as soon as it arrives and we can put it together I’ll be able to do the French stencil I’ve been anxious to put on the wall over the crib! One step closer to a finish nursery!

    In other news, my ribs have officially been pushed to the side to make way for The Kid. Last night on the busride home I could actually FEEL them (on the SIDE of my body) moving around when the bus lurched about. It was wild and slightly disconcerting.

    And how is it possible that someone who eats LITTLE food during the day can suffer such heartburn? Literally, today I’ve had a bagel at 10 a.m. and a slice of Domino’s pizza at 1 p.m. and yet you’d think I sat down to an all-you-can-eat buffet and chowed down four full plates of heavy food.

    I’m working on a Maternity Music cd for when I go into labor. I’ve picked out about 50-60 mellow songs that will keep me relaxed as I work through the contractions. Surprisingly, it’s Christina Aguilera’s “Beautiful” that is my favorite track on the CD right now. But mainly because the song was written by Linda Perry, one of my favorite songwriters of all time. I’d actually prefer it if Linda herself sang the track, but it was not meant to be.

    Month Seven | Back to Top

    Wednesday, February 5, 2003
    Jaynee Says: The Crib Has Arrived!
    Last night Denis and I got home from work to discover a huge box in front of our house – it was the crib that we ordered! I’m hoping we can put it together this weekend so that I can begin the stencil project I’ve been anxious to do.

    And when Rob and Tara came over this weekend they brought over even more stuff for The Kid – a bouncy seat, a swing, and about 10,000 bottles of various sizes. They are being too good to us, I must say.

    My latest doctor’s appointment is this evening – I’ll be meeting the last of the five doctor’s in the practice. It’s about time! I’ve been trying to see this guy for 3-4 months! Tonight I’ll find out why he’s so popular, I guess.

    Friday, February 7, 2003
    Jaynee Says: The Swelling Begins
    And so it begins. Tonight Denis and I were watching a movie and I propped up my legs to get comfortable. My pants legs slipped up a bit to reveal my swollen feet and ankles. I’ve gone from having rather nice looking feet/ankles to having cankles. I’m horrified.

    Monday, February 10, 2003
    Jaynee Says: The Crib Is Up
    This weekend we marked another task off our list of things to do before The Kid arrives. We got out our screwdriver and within 30 minutes the crib was standing and in it’s proper place. I intended to run out yesterday and get my stenciling materials to begin the stencil above the wall, but opted to stay on the couch all day watching tv. A much better option.

    We had a brief discussion with Ace this weekend about the nickname of The Kid and how since we’ve been calling her “Baby [edited]” that chances are high she’ll end up being “Baby” instead of “[edited]”. I shudder to think – my poor aunt has been saddled with the nickname of “Babe” since she was a baby. When I worked with her during my college summers it was a real struggle not to call her “Baby” in front of her peers because she didn’t need the hassle of being made fun of. Therefore, The Kid will be CootieGirl. Not [edited], not [edited], not CootieGirl, not Baby or Babe. She’ll be [edited]. The only other alternative is [edited], which is the middle name we’ve picked out.

    Wednesday, February 12, 2003
    Jaynee Says: We Got Hosed, Tommy, We Got Hosed.
    I don’t know how many of you read about last week’s fiasco of a doctor’s appointment. Today I was finally able to talk to someone in the office and complain about the non-call I got to cancel the appointment. The receptionist said, “Oh, but we called everyone.” I said, “Uh, no, you didn’t – because I didn’t get a call and pulled up to yur offices at 6:30 p.m. for my appointment only to find your office closed.” At that point I expected a simple, “I’m sorry,” and didn’t get one. Instead, the receptionist lurched into the comment that their office does NOT take my new health insurance. This despite the fact that I specifically ASKED THEM before my company switched insurance if they took the new one. They assured me they did. Apparently they lied. So I’m no longer going to that doctor, and have succeeded in locating a single doctor practice that is willing to take on a 7-month pregnant woman with no patience left in her body. My first appointment will be this Monday.

    In other news, The Kid has been really active lately. And now that she’s bigger, it’s more roly-poly action than poking action. And yet she still teases Denis by laying still whenever his hand is on my belly. She refuses to move for him. Methinks she’s going to be Daddy’s Little Girl come Birth Day.

    Last but not least: I’ve decided to take up scrapbooking and make a really nice scrapbook for The Kid. I went to the craft store last night to pick up my stencil stuff and got sidetracked. I ended up spending $$ on scrapbooking materials – stickers, vellum, die cuts – you name it, I sucker-bought it. But she’s gonna have one heck of a scrapbook collection when she grows up.

    Wednesday, February 19, 2003
    Jaynee Says: No Doctor, Lots of Movement
    My doctor’s appointment got canceled yesterday due to the weather – we had 18 inches by Monday morning and there was no way I was getting on the road for anything. So I called her yesterday and we’ve rescheduled for March 4 – that’s two weeks away, which means I’ll have gone over a month since my last appointment (Jan. 27). Not happy about that, but what can I do? Luckily my pregnancy has been complication free thus far, so I’m not too worried about it.

    In other news, today The Kid has been running a marathon for the past four hours. Literally non-stop. I don’t know where she thinks she’s going to end up, but I hope she’s having fun regardless. From my perspective, I’m not enjoying the frequent trips to the bathroom because of the pressure she’s putting on my bladder.

    Friday, February 28, 2003
    Jaynee Says: An Update
    Lots of stuff has happened in the past week or so. My mother came to visit and brought all the shower gifts – they were wonderful! Such a nice surprise! We now have plenty of clothes for The Kid, as well as other fundamental items.

    Physically I haven’t been doing to well. The ankle-swelling has not abated – if anything, it’s worse. Sometimes my feet look as though they might burst they are so swollen. This weekend I’ll hit Payless Shoes and attempt to find a large pair of loafers for work – my clogs aren’t cutting it anymore now that I can’t stuff my feet into them.

    I’m starting to have some mild nausea again – usually around 5 p.m., just like earlier in the pregnancy. I have not have the motion sickness, but I get slightly sweaty and nervous when I’m about to leave work and commute home – fearing that SOMEthing might happen. So far other than a HUGE dry heave one night after I got home, I’ve been able to keep it at bay. But I might start carrying around the last dozen pills that I still have from the doctor. Just in case.

    The last physical symptom is more painful – I’ve been having a lot of sharp pains just below my lower back – it’s located more in the top of my butt as opposed to my back. It gets really bad when I sit for a long time and then get up to walk – I end up shuffling down the hall because it hurts to walk. Someone mentioned that they think my doctor will put me on bedrest if it continues – but I’m not going to let that happen. I want my maternity leave to be AFTER I have The Kid, not before. Massaging it helps, so I’ve used the chair massage pad that Denis gave me for Christmas with success.

    Tomorrow is our childbirth class at the hospital, where we take a tour of the labor/delivery area, watch the goofy films and practice breathing and stuff. It’s an all day thing, and I hope I don’t get bored. I lose interest pretty quickly in meetings or lectures, and this goes from 9 a.m. – 6 p.m. Ugh.

    Monday, March 3, 2003
    Jaynee Says: Decisions, Decisions
    So after our childbirth class this past Saturday I’ve come to a few decisions about my eventual labor and delivery. #1: Give me drugs, and lots of them. None of that natural crap for me when things get painful. #2: Incur as much of your labor at home as you can possibly stand. I don’t want to be stuck in a hospital bed any longer than I have to. #3: Be prepared for very little space in that delivery room. Not only are the rooms small, but even just having two visitors might overcrowd the room. #4: No visitors at my house for the first two weeks, and even then they can only stay 10-15 minutes. #5: Denis has to play the straightman in the delivery room. No jokes, please, or else someone’s getting a foot up his bum.

    Month Eight | Back to Top

    Wednesday, March 5, 2003
    Jaynee Says: My New Doctor
    I met with my new ob-gyn yesterday. I like her no-nonsense style of speaking – I know I’ll get a straight answer for any question I have. I also like her location – she’s half a mile from the hospital we’ll be using. However, her exam style leaves a bit to be desired. She was a bit rough and I’ve had some minor spotting yesterday and today. I never had that problem with my other doctors. My next appointment is in two weeks and if she has to do another internal I’m going to speak up beforehand and tell her I’m not a practice mannequin with no pain toleration level.

    I also met with a potential child care provider and was disappointed upon meeting her in person. She sounded so great on the phone but upon meeting her I realized that I wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving The Kid in her care at all. In fact, if anything it made me realize how much I would love starting an at-home child care in my own home. Something to think about – but in the meantime it’s nearly back to square one. I have two more places (out of 30) to look at before having to expand my search to facilities that are further away from us. I’m hoping one of these two will work for us.

    In the meantime, as of yesterday I’ve gained 35 pounds in this pregnancy. With any luck, by giving up chocolate for Lent I’ll be able to slow down the weight gain a little bit and keep it to 7 pounds or less by the end of the pregnancy.

    Friday, March 7, 2003
    Jaynee Says: Not Well Today
    I’m feeling slightly nauseous today – ugh. Hopefully lunch will arrive soon and I’ll be able to put something in my stomach to stave it off. Somehow I don’t think the water I’m drinking is helping.

    I emailed my boss about my maternity leave today. I told him I wanted my last day to be April 18th, and my first day back to be July 28th. That’s about a 14-week maternity leave. They’ve done that in the past for a couple women here at my company, so I doubt he’ll have a problem with that.

    In other news, my heartburn has significantly improved the past couple of days. I’ve had no chocolate or orange juice since Wednesday (those are two contributors to heartburn, which I didn’t know until Wednesday when I gave up chocolate for Lent).

    Monday, March 10, 2003
    Jaynee Says: March Showers
    Yesterday I was given a surprise shower by my friends. It was a lot of fun to have everyone gather together to celebrate our impending parenthood. But upon arriving home, the panic set in. In 46 days we’ll be PARENTS to a tiny little person that can’t do anything for herself. FORTY-SIX DAYS, people! That’s like – NOTHING. And the Braxton-Hicks contractions I’ve been having are making it all the more real to me that I’ll be a Mom in six weeks, give or take.

    Friday, March 21, 2003
    Jaynee Says: One More Month…
    I’ve been busy lately- thus not many updates on the pregnancy diaries. Received another “shower” gift – this one from my company. They gave me a large donation for baby stuff, and wow was I able to make it go far. I basically went to Babies R Us this past weekend and bought out the entire registry save for a few small things. The car was PACKED when I left, and now I have this overwhelming sense of calm that we’re ready. Sure, there are minor things around the house still to be done, but if CootieGirl were to arrive next week, I’d feel prepared and able to handle it. I think.

    Tuesday, March 25, 2003
    Jaynee Says: Get a Load of This
    So yesterday I had my latest doctor’s appointment, including an ultrasound to check on CootieGirl’s growth. All is well with her organs, bone structure, and weight. However, my doctor informed me that I very well could go in the next two weeks because my original doctor most likely had my due date wrong. Can you believe that?

    CootieGirl is weighing in at approximately 5 lbs 9 oz right now, and in the doctor’s words she is a “chunky baby”. Oh great. That’ll be a joy to deliver. She is also head down, which is a relief. My appointment next Monday will give me more info on just how far along I am.

    Month Nine | Back to Top

    Wednesday, April 2, 2003
    Jaynee Says: Not Avoiding You
    So I’ve been having some website problems, and I assure you that I’m not avoiding you. In fact, I’ve been desperately to fix the problem so that I can post on my non-blog pages! We finally have resolution, and I’m back.

    Just in time for me to announce that as of today, according to, I am full term at nine months and can safely go into labor at anytime. Woo hoo! I’m so ready to not be pregnant anymore I can’t wait.

    Thursday, April 3, 2003
    Jaynee Says: A Couple of Pictures
    I remember promising a long time ago to post a picture of the french quote I put on the wall over the crib in CootieGirl’s room. I made up the quote, which is “Sleep, my little one, and dream of beautiful things to come…”. I was finally able to upload it – so here it is:

    Also, we’ve moved the bassinet into our room in advance of CootieGirl’s arrival. Originally Cooper was sleeping on his bed on the floor next to my side of our bed, but knowing that CootieGirl was going to occupy that spot, we moved Cooper’s bed to Denis’ side and put the bassinet on my side so that all the animals get used to this new piece of furniture. Well, one of the animals got a little TOO comfortable. The white netting you see around the cat was supposed to deter her from climbing in. Apparently she thought it pleasant:

    Friday, April 4, 2003
    Jaynee Says: CootieGirl is A’Droppin’
    Well, I got confirmation from my co-worker that my debilitating backpain that began today is a sign of the baby dropping. I believe that. For the past couple of days she has felt like she was going to drop out while I’m walking. And now I can barely walk because the back pain is so bad. PJ (whose wife is due April 11) said his wife is also suffering from that back pain.

    I will no longer make fun of people who claim to have severe back pain. I would never wish this on anyone.

    I also have been feeling slight nausea again – that started a few days ago, too. I just read on one of my pregnancy message boards that backpain and nausea together can sometimes indicate the opening stages of labor for some women.

    Three cheers to vomiting if that’s the case! huzzah! huzzah! huzzah!

    Wednesday, April 9, 2003
    Jaynee Says: I Take It Back
    Had my latest checkup last night. Apparently CootieGirl is not dropping like I thought. How do I know this? Because during my internal exam, the doc had to pretty reach for my tonsils to figure out if I was dilated. NOT comfortable at all. But the good news is I’m 2 cm dilated.

    I’m a bit depressed that she hasn’t dropped – everyone kept telling me she had dropped, but apparently 20 people can be wrong about something like that.

    Friday, April 11, 2003
    Jaynee Says: Will This Be The Weekend?
    So I’m wondering if I’ll go into labor this weekend. I certainly hope it is. I’m so ready to be done with this and home already. I’ve spent the past two days training my temp replacement here at work, and I’m positive that now that I’ve left things in her capable hands my body will just relax and labor will begin. At least, that’s what I hope will happen. I really don’t want to come in to work next weekend, despite the fact that two of my bankers will be on vacation all week.

    Wednesday, April 16, 2003
    Jaynee Says: No Changes
    At yesterday’s appointment I was bitterly disappointed that there’s been no change in progress. I’m still 2 cm dilated, with no effacement whatsoever. The good news CootieGirl has dropped, but is firmly ensconced behind my pelvic bone because the cervix hasn’t softened at all. She said that once the cervix softens a bit the baby will slip in front of the pelvic bone and be in the true position for childbirth. But til that happens, no labor any time soon. ARG! Figures I’m the one who doesn’t go early…

    The internal exam really hurt again – at one point I hollared “You’ve got to get out of there!” and began crying. I felt so stupid. She apologized and explained that the whole pelvic bone thing made the internal more difficult nd that once the baby moved the internal exam wouldn’t be as invasive. So I’m laying on the table, tears streaming down my face, and the doc says, “So I’m guessing you want an epidural.” I laughed and said, “Oh yeah – if I can’t even get through an internal you think I can handle labor?

    Doc also said that if I don’t go by my due date she’ll go ahead and have me schedule an induction – so it looks like April 30th it’ll all be over, if she can schedule me that soon after my due date (April 25).

    The other good news is that yesterday I checked out a childcare facility that I really liked. They are one of the better priced places I’ve contacted, and I really liked the two women I briefly met with yesterday. The place is conveniently located – right on the way to the park/ride that we commute from each morning. So it looks as though that search is DONE. And we only had to call 50 places to find it.

    Wednesday, April 23, 2003
    Jaynee Says: Mild Contractions
    So on Monday night I had about 45 minutes of mild contractions. I was very excited about that. But since then I’ve had nothing other than the usual Braxton-Hicks stuff. I have a doctor’s appointment today at noon and I’m hoping she’ll tell me that I’m more than 2 cm dilated and have some effacement. My due date is in four days, and I’m anxious to be done with it (as if you don’t already know that).

    Denis is also anxious to get “the call” at his office. He can’t wait to have a week off – even if he is going to be tending to me and CootieGirl’s needs during much of that week.

    The Birth Story | Back to Top

    Date of Birth: Thursday, April 24, 2003
    Jaynee Says: What a Story!
    On Wednesday, April 23rd, I had a normal ob-gyn checkup scheduled. My due date was in three days, and I considered the checkup to be routine. However, upon my arrival it was determined that 1) I had protein in my urine, 2) my swelling had increased, 3) my blood pressure was high (150/95 as opposed to my normal 120/70 average). I was also 4 cm dilated – signs that pointed to labor and pre-eclampsia all at the same time. My doctor informed me that she wanted me to go to the hospital and have the baby.

    WHAT? Have the baby? I was in shock – and totally unprepared. I had the car, Denis was at work in NYC, I had no hospital bag with me, and I hadn’t shaved my legs yet (something I planned to do in advance of my due date). However, she stressed the importance of my impending labor and I promptly drove myself to the hospital, arriving there at 3:30 p.m. I called Denis and told him to take the bus to the hospital, where he could pick up the car and go home to take care of Cooper and get my bag. I also called my Mom and told her “this is it, start driving to NJ.”

    I took myself to the PET unit where they determine if you are truly in labor or not, and am introduced to Kelly, the woman who would watch over me for the new couple of hours. She confirmed the pre-eclampsia and got me all settled into the gurney that would be all mine for the next fifteen hours. Before I knew it, I had an IV going as well as magnesium sulfate, which counteracts the high blood pressure. She hooked me up to the monitors so I could see my contractions (amazingly, the contractions didn’t start until I was on the gurney – and they were incredibly painful, just like every woman says).

    A bit later Kelly moved me to my permanent room and wished me luck as she left me with my new nurse staff, including a woman name Johanna and my ob-gyn’s assistant, Christina. Those poor women – they had no idea what they were in for with me in the room. Within the hour I was begging for an epidural to ease my pain, and the anesthesiologist showed up quickly and hooked me up. The epi did hurt, but not near as much as the contractions. God bless epidurals.

    It was at this point that I complained that “Denis is missing all the painful stuff (needles, epidurals, contractions, blood pressure taken every ten minutes). He’s gonna think childbirth is a breeze by the time he gets here.” At 5:00 p.m. he walks in the door and finds me breathing through a contraction (the epi was good, but not that good – I ended up feeling every 5th or 6th contraction most of the night). He said only long enough for me to give him a list of things to do at/get from home. I also urged him to get back quickly.

    Cut to a few hours later – Denis is back, and my mom and sister are confirmed on the road but stuck in traffic in Northern Virginia/Maryland where they live. Meanwhile, I’m even more dilated and anxious for American Idol to come on before I have to push out The Kid.

    How great is it that Carmen “What’s-Her-Name” Rasmussen was kicked off American Idol that night? I still get all warm inside thinking about that.

    By this point my right arm is in incredible pain from having my blood pressure taken every 5-10 minutes. It was later discovered that I had intense bruising as a result of this being done for 12 hours straight. I also had bad bruising on my left hand from where they kept sticking me with needles for various supposed issues. I think I ended up with a total of six separate bruises on that hand for each needed. And I also had a couple in my right hand.

    Cut to 11:30 p.m. – it’s been more of the same, contracting, dilating, tv watching, needle-sticking, blah blah blah. I’m straddled on the gurney, female parts on full display for anyone that walks in the room. They really had that room set up wrong. How do I know this? Because let’s just say the FIRST THING my mom and sister see when they walk in the room is NOT my face. But just like I was told, by that point I didn’t care if the Pope himself walked in that room – I was ready to have this kid.

    Within thirty minutes I was told it was time to push. How? Well, my body told me. I was always fascinated when I watched those baby shows on TLC when the moms-to-be said, “I have to push” – how did they know? Well let me tell you – the body knows. And the body will do it whether you want it to or not. And my body said to PUSH.

    Wow did that hurt. Holy frickin’ cow did that ever hurt. Denis, my mom and my sister all took turns coaching me through, encouraging me to push when the need arose. After an hour I was done. Done in that I didn’t want to push anymore. It hurt to much, and I didn’t want to do it. It was approximately 12 a.m. in the morning.

    “Can I have a c-section?”

    *grasshoppers chirp*

    Why are they ignoring me? I pushed a few more times trying to get Fat Head out, to no avail.

    “Can I have a c-section, PLEASE?”

    *more grasshoppers chirp*

    Finally, my ob-gyn comes in after deliverying another baby down the hall. Apparently that woman didn’t have a fat-headed kid to push out.

    “I want a c-section. Please can you do a c-section?”

    “Well, the typical protocol is to wait until the woman has pushed for two hours and then we consider the c-section.”

    “Okay, I’ll push for another hour, but then I want the c-section.”

    So an hour goes by and I push my hardest. And CootieGirl doesn’t move. She’s happy where she is, lodged somewhere in my nether region.

    No lie, when that clock struck 1 a.m. I stopped pushing, saying, “Okay, I’m ready for my c-section.”

    *can you believe it – more grasshoppers – are they multiplying?*

    Coincidentally, my doctor is nowhere to be found. I’m surrounded by nurses and who knows who else, but none of them have the authority to give me a c-section. I looked at Denis through the haze of pain. “Why are they lying to me? They told me that after another hour I’d get the c-section. PLEASE tell them to give me the c-section, Denis.”

    Poor Denis – he looked like a deer caught in headlights. He had no idea what to do. His wife is in seeming agony, the doctor is nowhere to be found, and the nurses are urging his wife to push.

    “Push, honey – it’ll be all right.”

    *Jaynee fumes*

    *and pushes*


    During that hour, at some point my sister was coaching me. Just after one session of pushing my entire body relaxed and I just stared at the ceiling. With firm resolve, I announce to the room, “I’ve decided I’m not going to push anymore.”

    My sister made the mistake of laughing.

    So I gave her a look that could kill and replied, “I’m serious. I’m not going to push anymore. I want my c-section.”

    But damn if CootieGirl didn’t have other ideas – within 30 seconds that urge to push took over and I was pushing like there was no tomorrow.

    Another annoying thing – some new nurse came in the room during that third hour and proceeded to tell me that I WAS PUSHING INCORRECTLY. If I could have lunged at her throat I would have. DON’T TELL ME I’M NOT PUSHING CORRECTLY AFTER MAKING ME PUSH FOR ALMOST THREE HOURS.

    Finally my ob-gyn comes in and upon calling her a liar for not giving me a c-section when I asked for it (the two hour mark), she finally gave in and announced I’d be going under the knife.


    Denis gets in scrubs, my need to push suddenly vanishes, and next thing I know I’m being wheeled under really bright lights while Mary J. Blige pumps from a stereo in the operating room. There’s a quick discussion of whether the operation should be done to ROCK music as opposed to Mary J. Blige. Rock music wins, and the radio station is changed.

    “How do we feel about tummy tucks at this hospital?” I ask.

    Everyone laughs.

    *Jaynee’s grasshoppers chirp again*

    “Uh, I’m serious.”

    Everyone laughs again.

    C-section went smoothly, other than the fact that I FELT THE KNIFE CUT ME OPEN. That wasn’t thrilling. But at that point I was so relieved that the whole thing was almost over that other than announcing, “Uh, I can feel that,” I let them do whatever they wanted.

    Minutes later I’m shown a mucous-covered mini human and told it’s a girl. 8 lbs 10 oz, 19 inches long, with ten fingers and ten toes. And no cone head. And beautiful.