An Extremely Personal Story

Last night Denis made a heavenly dinner. It was Korean Beef, one of our favorite meals. Served with a side of baked potato it was wonderful and we each ate tons (there were no leftovers available at the end of our feast).

Surprisingly, the heartburn was at a minimum for me, considering the fact I had had heartburn at work all day after lunch because I ate too much bread (heartburn being the second worst thing about pregnancy (nausea being the worst, obviously)). At 11 p.m. I went to bed and fell asleep pretty promptly.

Cut to 2 a.m. and I’m awakened by a horrible smell. Cooper sleeps on his bed on the floor next to my side of the bed and I was amazed at the potency of this particular gassy spell, and silently cursed him as I attempted to get back to sleep. I adjusted the blanket to get warm and was accosted by the smell again – and was aghast when I realized that the smell was under the sheets – meaning it had come from me.

Cut to 2:35 a.m. and I’ve spent 35 minutes in the bathroom completely miserable. The Korean Beef had it in for me and I was miserable. That misery remained with me throughout most of the night and this morning it’s still after me. And you know what also sucks – I woke up with heartburn! It’s killing me and I’ve already had two Tums since I dropped Denis off at the bus stop.

I called in sick to work and debated telling them the real reason behind my sick day – Denis’ killer dinner – but opted not to get that personal. So instead I decided to post it here on the World Wide Web for friends and family. Cuz you’re special that way.

My Signature


  1. I just printed out your post regarding the reason for your absence from work today and I stuck it to the fridge door in teh kitchen of our office ….

    Hope thats ok – M

  2. Oh sweet mother of God I don’t miss heartburn!! Pound those Tums my friend you must fight back!! Chew chalk all day if you must. Perhaps the smell was from Denis and that just caused you to be ill! My friend Jaynee does not smell!

  3. You poor dear. I remember that heartburn – orange juice was the worst culprit, when I was carrying you, also large meals. So what I found worked best was to eat four or five small meals a day. It worked great – no more heatburn or gas, and it also kept the weight gain down to 18 pounds. Yes, you read it right ladies, 18 pounds.

  4. MBM – if you truly did that YOU WILL PAY.

    Tara – Tums are my friend – I’ve already gone through one pack that MBM bought me last week. Luckily, my “illness” passed around noon today and I was able to eat a sandwich with no repercussions. And what you should say is “Jaynee does not smell ANYMORE.” =)

    Mom – pity that I’ve been drinking orange juice all day, but since the only food I’ve had is a bowl of cereal for breakies and a sandwich for lunch, I’ll probably be okay for heartburn for the remainder of the night.

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